Thy will be done

I was just reading my diary, and i realised that God is so good.
When something terrible happens, our first reaction is naturally that of shock, disbelief and possibly that of anger. How could this be happening? Why is this happening? Yet no matter how often we cry out, the answer doesn't often come at us till much later.
When my best friend transferred to another school last year, i suffered an identity crisis. have you ever been half of a pair, only to have to stand on your own two feet for once? Well, if you haven't it actually feels quite horrible, not a little frightening and extremely lonely. In school, i felt like i didn't fit in anymore, as if my "link" to school life had evaporated when the three of us (claire, genie and I) got seperated. And then my jie went to australia to study, and when she did, i lost my closest confidante and counsellor. In march, Nez told us she was going to america. All at once, it seemed like all the "pillars" of my existance were being stripped away. best friend, sister, close (and oldest) friend. Just who did God expect me to rely on? I was angry at God for doing this to me, out of the blue. I mean, why now? why all at one go? But then this small voice at the back of my head told me that maybe God wanted to teach me to rely on HIM. Talk about tough lesson, but yet, what choice did i have? So i started learning to rely on him, to trust him, that he was doing what was best for me in my life. Although sometimes i find it hard to give something up to him, i'm beginning to realise that God always has something better in store for us, if we would just let him do it. Even when i think i've hit rock bottom and no one can save me, or when i lose someone dear to me and i feel like bursting into tears and seeping deep into the ground to stagnate at the water table for ever, God is always there with a hanky to dry my tears, and a shoulder to lie my head. Each time i cry, i can picture God taking me into his arms and smoothing my brow, or hugging me fiercely to his chest and saying that things wil be alright, and things seem a shade brighter than before, and i find that life is not only liveable but loveable, and i feel the urge to run again.
"faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things yet unseen"
i just love that bible verse.