trust him

God is so good. No matter how spiritually dry i feel, he still listens to my cries and prayers, and helps me.
Yesterday, I was killing brain cells worrying about our mission trip. I felt that we were very leaky vessels to be carrying the gospel about. I'm not referring to the whole age thing. I'm referring to us, Swordfeesh as a vessel. We are like bits roughly hewn together with all sorts of cracks at places where we are supposed to be air tight. We have so very many differences, i don't know if we can stay united long enough to be effective for God. So last night, i was wearing a strip in my floor pondering over the grievious matter, and prayed that God would intercede amongst us and come between us all to fill all our cracks.
today, a lady came up and shared about her mission trip, and how it had been very difficult due to some personal issues with a member of the team. I was like: " HEY! that sounds like what WE are going to be like!" (not that i have anything against anybody in swordfeesh, we just have DIFFERENCES). She said that, because of that, it was very hard to be effective and joyful for God, but she just had to trust God and rely on him for strength, so that she was able to minister to the people there joyfully. It's like God was telling me not to worry, that he would come amongst us and give us strength and love to stand strong together.
And then, during class, we touched on the trust issue again. And all of a sudden, it hit me. I was not really trusting God about this- if i was, i wouldn't be worrying, would i? I really have to constantly remind myself to let go and let God, especially when i just Itch to DO something.
I really am looking forward to our mission trip, for several reasons.
i want to go there to determine if i was made for missions.
i want to go there to experience missions
i want to touch the lives of the people there, and bring them to Christ.
i want us, as Swordfeesh to really BOND. when u put a group of people together for a week, you can get two results: A band of life long friends, or people who will run out of the airplane and never come back again. I hope that the former will happen, and the latter will happen only in nightmares.