chasing dreams

I have a set of very unusual parents.
While most parents nag and push their kids to do better, my parents leave all the pushing to me. When i was younger that didn't really matter because i was a nerd. Or rather, i had an unusual habit of reading science guidebooks for leisure. But now, when msn and blogging and reading and the general act of "hanging out" gets in the way of my goal, i fervently wish for a set of naggy, pushy pair of parents (all those who have naggy,pushy parents sock me now). I mean, must be the only kid on the planet who BEGS not to go on a holiday. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend the ENTIRE holiday speeding around europe sightseeing, leaving behind mountains and mountains of homework to the last minute so that you come back to be doubly stressed? MEEEEE.
And after just returning from the GREAT UK TRIP, my mum wants me to spend the next weekend on a tiny island off the west coast of malaysia sunbathing and relaxing. And of course, forget the fact that most of my projects are due in a matter of a month. I can really kick back and enjoy the vast expanse of water before me without wishing to drown myself in it. i want to get my priorities right. and they are clear to me. GOD. Family. School. But darn, no one said i'd ever have to compromise my results, my future, my classmate's stress levels just so i can KICK BACK AND RELAX. I don't wish to be selfish. But in the end, i'll lose out, either way. Either my older sister doesn'tt get the full package of a "Family holiday", or my friends don't get all four quarters of the brains behind our projects.
God, please, please, please help me. How do i tell my family i'd rather spend time alone at home doing HOMEWORK than go out and have fun with them? And Lord, i really wish i could give jie the holiday she so badly deserves. PLease do something, or send some help, so that everything will work out for good. And lord, no matter what happens, give me a positive attitude to accept YOUR will, because i know that you will use every tiny experience of mine for moulding me.

TO DO:
spend this entire week working hard.
NO MSN. except to discuss projects. dear lord, please give me the strength NOT to talk to my friends.
Spend time with jie andd spill my guts :D
Take jie jie lessons from jie :)