generation Esther

I've just finished reading one fourth of my mother's birthday present to me, a book called Generation Esther, by Lisa Ryan.
This book talks about several "modern-day Esthers" who have listened and obeyed God's calling at crucial times of their lives, thereby allowing God to use them in life-changing ways. What really caught my attention is that they were all very very young, and had all dedicated their WHOLE lives to God. Some of them had even taken drastic measures like dropping out of public school to be home-schooled, just so that they could focus more time on God. There was one story that really inspired me, although compared to the others, it wasn't the most dramatic and touching one. It's about three girls, really, and how in their seperate lives, they found God, and instead of being luke-warm christians like me, they went all out, and gave EVERYTHING to God. One of them gave up an HOUR of sleep every single day to read the word of God, another fasted every friday and saturday night, and at times, when the spirit called on them, they would fast for days at a time.
To me, fasting is like a big deal, because, well, I cannot fanthom going an entire day without food without becoming limp and letargic. And these girls are going on FOURTY day fasts, praying for HOURS, and with such ferver and passion. And i want that. I want that intimacy with God, that passion, and all-out attitude for God.
Funny, how today's E_God service concides with this book. The sermon today was: Slow Down, and Pastor Kao was urging us to set aside a day of the week for God, resting body, emotions and spirit. And i was just pondering this, and have decided that i shall attempt to do this. I know it's crazy, what with exams in three weeks time, but God is first.
Honestly, I'm nervous about what I've been doing these past few weeks. Lately, studying has no longer become the centre of my existence, though i can't say that it is no longer a major part of my life. Right now, Top Priority is a tug-of-war between God, Family and studying. I know the importance of doing well for exams, but all of a sudden, i don't find satisfaction in mugging all day. I want more.
I've had a revelation. By limiting myself to becoming a doctor one day, I've been wondering if i've been actually obeying God's will. I wonder whether, when the time comes, i will say "let your will be done". Right now, i know that if i continue with studies as the center of my life, if I don't become a doctor, I will probably go into severe depression. So maybe that is all the more reason for me to start changing. So that when the time comes, i can truly say "let your will be done".