radicallychanged

Monday, July 04, 2005

life

I think i suffer from myopia or something. not the physical myopia, but the intellectual myopia, which causes you to view life that is not within a 10 km radius around you as one hazy blur. because i find it hard to imagine what life is like without God as the sun and studying as earth, and where everything else are noxious planets far far away or small meteorites that whiz by occasionally. All my life, even before i really understood the Bible, I've known the basic foundations of christianity: God loves me, if i believe in Jesus Christ i will have eternal life, I must strive to please God and Obey YOUR PARENTS and STUDY HARD. the last two being my parent's (and almost every other sunday school mate's parent's) idea of christianity. What would life have been if i hadn't been born with all these principles carved into my heart and head? what if i had been brought up in a free thinker home with filthy rich parents who thought that money could pave any road and buy an education? i think i would have been vastly different in the way i think and act. I can't imagine what i'd do when i'm angry, or when i'm depressed.
A friend of mine made a curious comment about me that made me THINK. My friend said i was "very straight". In modern context it might insinuate that i was seriously boy-crazy, but upon clarification, i realised that he meant that i was of the one-track sort whose life was one narrow road. Which is true. I can not imagine not working hard, or slacking on Sunday mornings. I can't imagine "hanging out" at orchard road or shopping on weekdays from 3 to 10. In fact, it sounds vaguely fantastic and at the same time not a little nightmarish. But it isn't fair of me to judge the life that isn't exactly the same as mine and label it bad. Nor is it wise of me to long obsessively for that elusive dream of being "free'.
The road i walk on has been decidedd by God from way outside of time. should there come a day where there is a BIG junction in it, i know there can essentially be two choices: heaven or hell. And knowing the devil, hell will be marked by neon stickers with big flashy signs and temptations way out of sight. and heaven will be a ssimply dirt track made all the more bare by it's hip and vibrant neighbour. And so i hope i will be able to recognize the right road, and i hope that should i ever stray, there will be teleportation stations along hell's highway, that i can quickly transfer myself to the path headed towards heaven.
But coming back to the topic, i was wondering how i might treat an "alien" from another "world" whose path intersects mine. i can hardly stop myself from labelling the person weird, and yet i long to see how life is, through his eyes. how is it that we all live in the same country, or go to the same school, yet the lives we live are so vastly different? i have to learn to be less square, and although i intend to stick to MY path, i don't want to be totally oblivious to the entire network of paths crisscrossing mine all the time. i want to KNOW what it's like to be someone else, and yet stay safe in my own world. i guess that's not possible. unless i use my imagination, and even then, it doesn't come close enough. when i go to heaven, i shall study the world with a magnifying glass, and trace an idividual through his life, and examine his thoughts, feelings and experiences with care.
Maybe that's why God gave us an imagination. to view the world from another perspective, so that it would not look like a square table top, but as a globe. Lord, help me not to judge others.

1 Comments:

At 1:44 AM, Blogger Sher Reen said...

Truly you write with wisdom beyond your years. It's such a beauty, your woven mat of words. I find reading your blog a pleasure, for you explore things so wholly in the name of God, the faith that radiates is just so so so immense.

Amazing.

This entry was yet another thought-provoking one.

 

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